Dear Ask-A-Sister:

I know that having a relationship with someone who is not a Christian is wrong, but because of my loneliness and unbelief that God knows what I’m feeling. Because of my loneliness I what I know in my heart is wrong? Basically, how do I forgive myself?


Dear Willing To Compromise…

Being unevenly yoked comes with many problems and challenges. You must understand that the other person is coming from a complete different place than you are. They are guided by a completely different spirit than you are; which means during decision making, conflict, understanding, etc. you each are coming from completely different worlds of understanding.  I can tell you this from firsthand experience.  The problems of being in an unevenly yoked relationship is even more serious than just these issues.

The relationship is plagued by polar opposites. Satan and God never make good bed fellows

 I married my husband lying to myself that he was saved. Yes he went to church and occasionally prayed with me but he really hadn’t accepted the Lord in his life and I was so eager to be married that I didn’t heed God’s warning. I’ve had to pay the price for my disobedience. “Do not by yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?-2 Corinthians 6:14”

Loneliness is a very deceiving emotion. We can think we are lonely in a number of situations that really we shouldn’t feel lonely in. I say this because one can be married and be lonely, be in a room with a thousand people and be lonely, feeling the touch of a lover and be lonely. So it stands to reason loneliness is in the mind and spirit.

We develop loneliness when we are preoccupied with wanting . . . more than our relationship with God. Satan uses our lonely times to keep our thoughts and spirit distracted. I once read that “Loneliness is not the absence of affection, but the absence of direction.” –author unknown. Loneliness occurs when we lose direction of who we are in Christ. “Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you”- I Peter 5:7 “And the Lord, He is the one who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.”-Deuteronomy 31:8

Instead of accepting your feelings of loneliness as normal ask the Holy Spirit to work on your heart to overcome your feelings of loneliness… Allow time with God outside of the relationship of your unsaved partner. Now if you are married it’s not much you can do about your unevenly yoked relationship now. But I will let you know also through experience that God is a just God and a merciful God. Although God is merciful and still blesses the unevenly yoked marriage because of the Christian’s relationship with Him; it is clear you will have to come to the reality that there are consequences for going against God and that being in such relationships only bring unnecessary heart and spiritual ache.


Ask- A-Sister Disclaimer: By submitting a problem to Ask-A-Sister at, you grant permission to publish it on our websites. Your full name and contact details will never be included or distributed. The advice columnist acting on behalf of is expressing personal opinions and views and the advice offered is intended for informational purposes only. These individuals may or may not be licensed or degreed in the area for which you are seeking advice. Use of this column is not intended to replace or be a substitute for any professional, financial, medical, legal or other professional advice. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional, psychological or medical help, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified specialist. The opinions and/or views expressed in this column are not intended to treat or diagnose; nor are they meant to replace the treatment and care that you may be receiving from a licensed professional, physician or mental health professional. This column, its author and are not responsible for the outcome or results of following any advice in any given situation. You, and only you, are completely responsible for your actions. reserves the right to edit problems/questions for length and clarity and offers no guarantee that any particular question will be responded to or published.