Dear Ask-A-Sister:

I’m really trying to get back right with God and now I have a family and a fiancé. Both I and my fiancé were both brought up in church and we both know the ways of God. But I feel we have both backslide for long enough and our relationship needs a lot of prayers. How can I convince my fiancé to want to be closer to God as I do?


Dear Ms. Trying To Find Meaning…

The key here is can you alone get past the physical. No! you can’t. There is nothing wrong with you not finding your husband attractive although one would wonder how did the two of you get hitched if there was no attraction to draw the to of you together.

The truth is that you’ve taken a very bold step in saying you realize that this could become a serious problem in your marriage.

No, you can not change your heart but God can. As women we are very layered creatures that is one reason men find us so heard to understand. But in the same manner it can be hard for us sometimes to understand where a feeling or thought is coming from because of our vast about of emotional layers.

You may ask yourself is your lack of attraction for your husband coming from a different place. A place of second guessing whether you really wanted to be married to this man after all. Is there something else going on in the marriage that is causing your husband not to look so great right now? Or maybe there is even another person that has caught your eye and may seeds have been planted that causes you to think, “What If”.

If you truly feel that God has spoken to your heart and given you confirmation that you will be utilized in ministry for His glory. You will need to stay alert that Satan attacks where we are most weak. If you physical attraction to your husband is low than this is an opening in your Spiritual Armour for Satan to attack. Know this and recognize that if you are spending time thinking of how not attracted you are to your husband that more time you are cultivating the seeds that Satan planted to draw a wedge in your marriage.

To say that you have no doubt that God has spoken to you and you know that you and your husband are to work together in ministry is a great thing. In order for you not to allow Satan to use your lack of physical interest in your husband to cause you to prohibit the growth of the ministry of marriage or even to all an opportunity for you to stray due to a more attractive man You will need to ask God to change your heart toward your husband and ask Him to help you confront what ever issues that are hidden beneath your unwillingness to “GET OVER IT”.

So often we feel that in order for Satan to have a place in our lives we have to engage in some great sin. This couldn’t be further from the truth. If at any point in our service we take our eyes off the target. Satan has accomplished his goal of distracting us. It’s kinda hard to serve in ministry, grow as a believer, or just gain greater intimacy with God when we are preoccupied with “STUFF”

Ask God to change your heart to be attracted to your husband, even find your husband sexy. I’ve done it and am here to tell you He does answer prayer.

I Corinthians 13:4-7- Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice by rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Ask God through the power of the Holy Spirit to speak to your heart and to grow seeds of Love for your husband. Not human love, but righteous love.


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